I am once again, at a point in my spiritual journey where I am yearning to hear God’s voice, and it’s just not happening! I mean, the harder I listen, the more I hear my own voice!
I know it’s not God’s voice because it’s my own reasoning…and it’s my own will I hear…
Reading His word has only confirmed to me that I indeed am not hearing His voice. But then I stumbled upon Esther’s story so I read it again, and her uncle seemed to be transmitting God’s voice in this story. It seems her circumstances together with her uncle’s wisdom led her to be in the palace just at the time when there was a plot to exterminate the Jews. There was a series of events that put Esther in the palace at that time. The death of her parents must have devastated her beyond words. It must have seemed like the end of the world for her. But this was possibly the most important part of her story. Had her parents been alive, her uncle might not have played such an important role in her life. I am not sure if Jewish parents would have allowed their daughter to go into the king’s palace to possibly become a concubine…
Anyway, growing up with her uncle must have been very interesting and sometimes embarrassing. We are not told of a Mrs Mordecai, so I assume that when other little girls were having their hair braided by their Mommies, she was trying to teach her uncle HOW to braid hair. She didn’t have anyone to share her first crush with or her fears about being fat. She probably wore mismatched clothes for a while because her uncle had no idea about what little girls like to wear. And when she had her first period, I can just see him trying to explain what was happening to her using plumbing pipes.
But even after all of this, and possibly because of it, they loved each other deeply and always looked out for each other because they each were all the other had. And so it happened that when her uncle heard about the auditions at the palace, her uncle encouraged her to go. The beauticians probably had no trouble with her skincare regime. She had probably never used makeup before and she was introduced to a whole new world in that year and she took each lesson with grace. Hegai probably showed off that he had the best candidate for queen under his care and maybe even bet with the other palace staff that she would become queen, mostly because she had no idea how beautiful she was and was, therefore, was not haughty. Not only was she a pretty girl, she radiated beauty from within. A beauty that was pure and simple. Her uncle probably spent a lot of time teaching her to value herself, and to hold herself in high regard.
If you value yourself, then you automatically value all humanity because you know you are not the only one and you know it’s not all about you. You are kind and gentle and graceful, you are respectful and helpful…and these things come in handy if you are auditioning to be queen.
Mordecai had done a wonderful job in helping to shape her character and she owed a lot to him. I bet Esther could not believe her luck and I can just see her praising God every day for her fortunes. She could now repay her uncle’s kindness and buy him gifts and take him places he had never been. She could give him all the wonderful things he had missed out on because he had taken her in. But this is not why she was placed there. God had a special plan for her, He knew He needed someone on the inside at some point.
Now, this is the thing that I got to understand as I read the story once again: Esther could have chosen to keep quiet and let the Jews be annihilated by Haman. She was, after all, the queen. Surely the king would save her because she found favour in his eyes and he loved her more than the other maidens (Esther 2:17). But Esther heeded the words of her uncle. She understood her role and she allowed God to do His will through her. I especially loved the part where she says “…then I will go and see the king, though it is against the law, and if I die, I die” (Esther 4:16).
When you reach a point in your life when you will do something because it feels right, regardless of the consequences to yourself, I think you will have reached the epitome of love. Allowing God’s will to be done in your life is the whole duty of man. That is indeed faith in action.
A lot of times in life, I find myself in certain situations where I try to reason and figure my own way out of them. I wallow in self-pity or show off with my good fortune and I forget to listen for the voice of the Master. I sit there and try to see how I can keep my good fortune, or how to turn my situation around. I forget who brought me to this place and I forget that it is His will, not mine, that should be done in my life. I never stop to see what lesson there is in my situation. I don’t stop to ask God what the next step is, or ask for strength to get me through this part of the journey. But you know what, there is always a friend with an encouraging word, a timely prayer, a good thought to share and I think this is a way that God speaks to me.
My prayer, since I understood this, has not only been that God continues to speak through my friends, but that someone is blessed by my words too. I pray that I will be so in tune with Him, His word flows out of me in encouragement and blessing to my friends and family and anyone that I encounter on this journey I am taking. And this is my prayer for you too.
Ruth says
God does send us answers and guidelines in many ways and in those answers I realise that even if I feel confused and at times alone in my troubles – God speaks; using that which is around me. Thank you for the lovely article – blessed.