Anyone who tells you that the Christian walk is not a struggle is lying. I’ve experienced it myself and it’s not a battle for the faint-hearted. When l began this ministry I was on a mountain top, the view from the top looked so beautiful. I had everything mapped out, l could see the path that I wanted to take so clearly.
I had a vision.
I had drive.
I had determination.
I hit the ground running.
I was super excited about what God was going to do through me. With the knowledge, l have of computers and everything IT related, l set up my website and Facebook page. Everything was well. I had a vision. It didn’t take me long to get the support that l needed to get this ministry off the ground. People were being blessed, blog posts were pouring in. I spent hours in prayer and bible study. I read so many books and l was always so excited to share. I stayed prayed up because l knew that the only way I could pour out into someone’s life was if l took the time for God to pour into mine. I had the ministry all planned out and everything was well. I was enjoying the mountain top experience. I was focused.
Now, what happens when you find yourself in-between the mountain-top and the valley-low? What happens in those times when you begin to slip up a little. Those times when you no longer take time to read your devotions, those times when you no longer pray as much as you used to because suddenly the bright lights of this world seem more attractive and you turn your focus away from God to Self or maybe you feel so spiritually filled up that you do not feel a need to spend time with God? I could see it coming but l kept telling myself that “I’m tired tonight, l will wake up and do my devotion in the morning” or “I will just watch one more episode of Criminal Minds then tomorrow l will watch them no more.”
I was becoming so comfortable in my backsliding lifestyle that I did not hunger and crave to spend time with God as l did before. I was beginning to get entertained by the amusements of this world. I was beginning to spend my time listening to and watching programmes that neither build nor edify. Before l knew it, l was all poured out and had not been refilled so as a result, I had nothing to give. I was living on the edge of compromise, I knew what it is that l had to do but I began to think it was okay to miss my devotion and watch NCIS instead – just this one time. Before bed, l would quickly mumble a prayer and jump into bed and wonder what happened to the joy I used to feel spending time in the presence of God. I would wonder what happened to that “woman set apart” who was always eager to share the good news of Jesus. That young woman who was always up early to read her devotion and pray. I wondered what had happened to me.
I still looked the part of a woman set apart but I knew deep down l was struggling to find my feet again. I had the form of godliness but I clearly denied the power of God to work in my life. I had become so comfortable with being a lukewarm Christian. I had become so preoccupied with fashion, technology, food, and this world’s entertainment that l had let the most important thing in this life to slip away. I knew l had to pray and ask God to restore to me the joy that l felt when l first spent time in His presence. I had lost the hunger to know Him and serve Him. I was content with eating the breadcrumbs from someone else’s devotion and prayer life even though it still left me hungering for more. There was nothing set apart about my life, if anything, l had joined the very things that Jesus Christ tells us to run from. One evening l came across this quote,
“There is no more confused message that you and I could give to a lost and dying world than to live in sin and at the same time to tell people about the transforming power of Jesus Christ. There isn’t a more confusing thing we can do to our kids and the generation behind us, to this world. God will not use a compromised life to reach a compromised world. God will use a life that is given over to Him, that is a demonstration of the message that through the power of Jesus Christ and His love He can transform our lives and set us free.”
I felt so ashamed and cried so much that evening. I was proclaiming with my mouth that Jesus Christ is my heart’s desire but my heart was far from Him. I had become so comfortable with the little compromises that they didn’t look like they could do much harm to my spiritual life. Yet, the further l moved away from God the more he beckoned me to come back to Him. He never gave up on me. This past Easter weekend l attended the BUC Youth Congress and God in His mercy had a word for me. I got the revival that l yearned for and needed so desperately in my life. God reminded me why l started and why l should finish this race strong. I wanted to be broken from my sinful ways and habits and have the potter to put me back together. I needed a fresh start and as l pressed into God, as l poured out my life to Him he took those broken pieces of my life and promised to work on me. Our preacher Sebastian Braxton reminded me of a song that I’ve been singing all week, to sum up my experience,
“His still working on me, to make me what l ought to be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars, the sun and earth and jupiter and mars. How loving and patient He must be, coz his still working on me.”
God is not done with me yet. He is not done with you. We have not “arrived” at the place that God is calling us to, but God will never leave us alone. Like Paul, we can “be confident in this very thing, that He who begun a good work in us will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil 1:6) Maybe you are like me, the things of this world are more appealing to you than the things of God. Maybe you are so used to proclaiming with your mouth that you love Jesus but your heart and your lifestyle are far from Him. Maybe you are between the mountain top and the valley low and you want to hunger for God’s truth but the circumstances in your life are pushing you farther away from Him?
As Women Set Apart our call is to be women after God’s own heart and to love Him fervently with our whole being – that should be our sole desire. We cannot be lukewarm Christians and be set apart at the same time. We cannot have one foot in the world and the other foot following after Christ. Living a life that is set apart is going to require us to make some difficult decisions. Decisions that will call us to put our relationship with God first – always! Decisions that will call us to make our commitment to God a priority over every other relationship in our lives. Decisions that will call us to have an uncompromising lifestyle, a lifestyle that will show that we are unashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
This is only a small part of my testimony and l am sure you have a testimony too. God is still in the business of changing lives. It is not going to be easy. We will fall but will not stay down. God has a great plan for our lives and we just need to surrender our lives to his keeping and his will. We want to be Women set apart who are Christ-filled and who are living christ-centred lives. You do not have to wait until tomorrow to surrender your heart to God anew. He is always ready and willing to bring us back to where it all started. Jeremiah 29:13 states,” and you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” God is asking us to give up our worldly pursuits and to make Him the first and best in our lives. It is going to get hard. It is going to be difficult. Living a sinful life will seem more joyous but the truth is that it all ends in ruin. But Jesus Christ has promised us this;
Behold, l stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, l will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. “To him who overcomes l will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as l also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.” Rev 3:20-21
I thought of quitting this ministry because l thought there were better things to do with my time. But God reminded me why l started and why l should finish strong. God reminded me that it is not my ministry to take up and give up whenever it suits me. God reminded me that this has absolutely nothing to do with me – it’s all about Him. I don’t know about you but I want my life to matter. I want my life to count. I want to be a disciple of Jesus Christ and to live a life that is totally devoted to Him. The things of this world will pass away, they have no eternal value. Set your eyes on things that have eternal value, set your eyes on Jesus Christ. You are set apart, you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people. God has called us to proclaim the praises of Him who called us out of darkness into His marvellous light.” (1 Peter 2:9) You are a Woman Set Apart. Keep your eyes focused on Jesus!
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