Question was asked:
I am very much in love with a man l met at work. We are both in our thirties and are compatible in every area but spirtually. Even though his not a christian, he goes to church with me, and l believe in my heart that he will convert someday. There’s no one at church for me to date. Besides, this man’s moral standards are higher than those of all the men from church whom l’ve dated. What do you think my chances are for converting him? Is it okay for me as a christian young woman to be with this man?
Other Women Responded and said:
Rindai Said:
Oh honey… I think the simple answer to your questions are: your chances of converting him are zero. and if he is not a christian, then no, it is not okay for you to date him. The Bible is clear on both subjects. Only the Holy Spirit can convert an repentant heart and we are explicitly instructed not to be equally yoked with unbelievers. As an Adventist woman that married a non-Adventist (but Christian) man, I will say this: if you think that this man is believing in what you believe in, let him go through this journey of conversion on his own. let him study and learn and experience your denomination of Christianity before you hitch your wagon to his for as long as you both shall live. I know it’s hard (trust me on this), but if your religion and your denomination are important to you, you cannot be so intimately involved with someone who does not completely believe the same things you do and be successful. If you are open to it, you can inbox me and we can talk more about this.
Tania Said:
I believe that until one gets to the point of falling in love wholly with Jesus Christ first, to the point that nothing else matters, it is difficult to love a man. I would like to encourage the questioner/single women to seek God first, be led by the Holy Spirit always and maintain purity whilst dating. I believe that nothing is impossible with God, and that God can use you to intercede on behalf of the gentleman in question. My advice would be to take some time out, meditate and seek the face of God so as to be sure about what he is saying about the situation.
Yve said:
Dear Friend and sister in CHRIST, the word of GOD says, that we ought not to be yoked with unbelievers. Since you don’t know when and if this man is going to be saved at all – since this is in GOD’s hands – you should obey GOD with the things HE said to you in HIS word. You can not go wrong with the things HE’s telling you in HIS word, even when you don’t see how things will work out. But always keep in mind that GOD rewards obedience. Now, you might just see that there is only one choice, but GOD sees all! Trust HIM in ALL things, even in choosing a husband for you. In CHRIST your sister yve
Commonsense said:
If you’re asking the question, you already know the answer. How does being with an unbeliever glorify God? 2 Cor 6:14
Zanele said:
” Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear God and depart from evil. It will be health to your body and nourishment to your bones” (Proverbs 3:5-8). The Lord who loves you and seeks your best, whose ways are not your ways, has commanded that believers not be unequally yoked with non-believers. This is not up for compromise, except at the penalty of great future unhappiness and even eternal loss. Let God who wants all men to be saved, bring this man into the fold of Christ in His own way. Then seek Him to know if this is even the man He has for you. To trust in your rationale which at this time is clouded with your desires is unsafe. May God give you the strength and wisdom to lean upon Him alone, focus all your desires upon being prepared daily to be the bride of Christ, even as Esther was prepared, and should He will, He will give you marriage as an additional blessing to the #1 blessing of all, being yoked in purity, obedience and holiness with Christ. Submitted with much love and prayer for you my Sister.
Julieta said:
Maybe you should pray and let God decide if this is the man for you. Maybe he is! Just remember that you marry a man to love and respect him. Not to change him. Be a godly wife yourself, and let God do the rest. Blessings!
Nancy Van Pelt advises the following:
- There is a chance that your friend may convert. But the admonition against a relationship between a believer and an unbeliever still exists. Never marry in hopes of someone changing. If you fail to match in your spiritual values as well as mentally, emotionally, and physically, you are compromising your standards and beliefs. This puts you on dangerous ground.
- Don’t try to ignore the problem, justify the relationship, or disobey God. Instead, take a hard look at what this means for you and the one you love and for your future should you marry. Unless you do it now, in all the years to come you’ll be dealing with the consequences of being unequally yoked.
- Imagine the frustration two builders would experience trying to work on a house from two different sets of building plans. Differing designs and materials would produce such confusion and conflict that the project would fail. Even a casual observer would say, “You can’t build a house from two differing blueprints.”
- Spiritual compatibilty is so important because during a time of stress, two who worship together can tap into a source of strength to carry them through the tough times. No couple goes through life without being touched by adversity or tragedy. This imperfect world carries so much evil, heartache, pain, disappointment, illness, emotional upheavals, financial setbacks, and death. When a couple needs to seek God in prayer, they find strength and courage as they seek Him together, rather than singly!
- “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” is godly wisdom. Unmarried Christians must heed it or reap the consequence of living in a home where the shadows are never lifted. God didn’t give this advice to keep you from finding a mate, but to protect you from your pain. Don’t get yourself so wrapped up romantically with someone who doesn’t share your faith that you can’t bear the thought of a future without that person. The safest way to protect yourself from such pain is to maintain a policy of dating only those of like faith.
What a difference it makes in marriage when both partners can turn to God in the midst of turmoil and together find a refuge and strength, a present help in time of need.
Do you have any other answer or advice to give for someone who finds themselves in a similar situation? Lets talk in the comment section below.
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